Sunday, September 13, 2009

A Woman Cannot Rape

Upon reading this article on Foxnews.com, I decided I had to speak out. The article is about eight year old Sandra Cantu who was raped and murdered earlier this year. While her story is tragic, and I mourn her death, I feel that several prejudices within the Fox article (and other like articles) must be addressed.

For the past several months I have worked closely with many individuals who have suffered from abuse and rape. Many of their stories are shocking and horrific. The article claims that many people feel that
Huckaby could not have acted alone, that no mother would rape another's child, that the scenario was too improbable to be true. The case is so striking that police initially shared the public's reaction.

While it is not entirely surprising, I find the police's reaction disturbing. The article continues that the police initially looked for another suspect or thought of Huckaby as an accomplice. They thought that since she was a woman and a mother to boot she could not have done this heinous crime - at least not alone. I would presume that if the main suspect had been a man no one would have the same questions. If the man had been a father, some doubt would have been raised but not to the extent that it was in Huckaby's case.

From my experiences and the stories I have heard, I know of many cases or rape and abuse committed by women - and mothers. Often, the rape and abuse is committed by the poor child's own mother. In my experience the most brutal abuse is done by the parent's of a child. I know of individuals who have been raped by men and by women. Both are horrific, but sometimes the women are worse. They are not as phsyically violent perhaps, but they are more brutal, more cruel and do more damage than men. The police force (and general populace) has a convoluted view of rape which must be changed. I will not go into detail but highlight a few things that need to be realized.

1. Anyone can rape, man, woman, child, teenager, grandparent.
2. Rape can happen within a relationship such as dating or marriage.
3. Just because a woman was wearing a short skirt does not mean men have an excuse for rape
4. No one deserves rape.
5. Just because someone doesn't say no doesn't mean they say yes.

People need to realize not only how common rape is, but how varying the victims and abusers are. Anyone can be abused and anyone can abuse. Men can abuse women. Men can abuse men. Women can abuse men and women can abuse women.

3 comments:

  1. Amen! You see stories of women harming or killing thier children all of the time. I don't understand why people believe that she could have done this. I could never harm or kill my children, but Susan Smith could and did. The whole idea of maternal instincts has been overrated to say the least. Just because you bore a child doesn't mean that your some kind of saint that is incapable of evil or wrong doing. As a foster parent, I've seen many mothers, who don't have a clue and should have never been blessed with a child. Whether it's physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, etc... I have seen it all, or just when I thought I have, something more horrible comes along. I can only pray that justice will be done and we can one day rid our society of child predators and abusers.

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  2. Apparently those people do not watch much television. I am a Law and Order SVU addict and many programs dealt with a mother abusing her child (often a son, but I know it can be daughters as well) and how it eventually led to the boys growing up into totally ruined men who in turn abused. I took some very simple courses dealing with child abuse and the examples were filled with mothers who abused - why can't law enforcement and others involved in these crimes take such courses? It's all right there in black and white, case after case.

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